Hexagram 54: The Marrying Maiden

Structure of the sign

Above is Chên, the eldest son; below is Tui, the youngest daughter. The man leads and the girl follows him with joy. The entrance of the maiden into the husband's house is depicted. There are in all four hexagrams that describe the relations between spouses. No. 31, Hsien, 'Influence (Wooing)', describes the attraction that a young couple exert upon each other. No. 32, Hêng, 'Duration', describes the enduring relationships of marriage. No. 53, Chien, 'Development (Gradual Progress)', describes the hesitant and ceremonial procedures in concluding a correct marriage. Finally, Kuei Mei, 'The Marrying Maiden', shows an older man followed in marriage by a young girl. Note: Formally, monogamy prevails in China. Every man has only one official wife. This union, which concerns the families rather than the two individuals involved, is concluded with strict observance of forms. Yet the man retains the right to give ear also to tender inclinations of a personal nature. Indeed, it is the highest duty of a good wife to assist him in this. In this way the relationship becomes a beautiful and candid one. The girl who enters the family according to the man's choice subordinates herself modestly to the mistress of the house as a younger sister. Naturally, these are very delicate and tender questions that require much tact on every side. But when circumstances are favorable, a solution is found here to a problem that European culture has failed to solve. Naturally, womankind in China corresponds as little to the ideal as marriages in Europe are on the average in harmony with European marriage ideals.

The Judgment

The Marrying Maiden. Undertakings bring misfortune. Nothing that would further. A maiden who is received into the family, without being the principal wife, must conduct herself with particular caution and reserve. She must not take it upon herself to displace the mistress of the house, for that would mean disorder, and untenable conditions would result. This applies to all free relationships among people. While legally ordered relationships show a firm nexus of duties and rights, human relationships based on inclination depend for their permanence purely on tactful reserve. This inclination as the principle of relationships is of the greatest importance in all conditions of the world, for from the union of heaven and earth comes the continuance of all nature, and likewise among people free inclination as the principle of union is the beginning and the end.

The Image

Thunder over the lake: the image of the Marrying Maiden. Thus the superior man understands the transitory in the light of the eternity of the end. Thunder stirs the water of the lake, which follows it in shimmering waves. This is the image of the maiden who follows the man of her choice. But every union of people with one another harbors the danger that aberrations will creep in, leading to endless misunderstandings and complications. Therefore it is important to take the end constantly into consideration. If one drifts along, one comes together and parts again as the day determines. If, on the other hand, one keeps a permanent end in view, one will succeed in avoiding the reefs that stand in the way of closer relationships between people.

The lines